I would like to reiterate that education is a good thing but it is the teaching methods which go bad sometimes.

Another year will soon be added to me life. With each second I inch closer to adulthood. Soon I will have to leave this carefully crafted nest that my parent's created for me. Will I be able to survive in this society? Survive in this place that has no compassion and only twisted morals? I'm sorry, but after living in this world for so long I have lost trust in the system. This system that claims to turn us into knowledgable individuals with a morality through effective education.

Yes, education is essential, but through the process, we have only become more cold and cruel. We learn to be slefish and fight for our own gains because that's the only way to survive. There's no choice about it. As elitism grows in these parts, the discriminatory thoughts will one day translate into actions. What is morality? Do we even need it anymore? After all, we just need a mask to cover our ugly hearts. We just need to charm and manipulate those around us to perceive a cherry image. Of course, you might say that it's tiring to wear a mask, but aren't you wearing one yourself? No matter what, we must conform. We have been taught to conform for the greater good of society.

Though I agree that a certain degree of hypocriscy must exist for society to smoothly operate, I feel that society has taken it to another degree. We have learnt to fabricate morality, sympathy and empathy. The right answers are stored in our brains like those codes in a computer.

But I guess it's all necessary?

Lets continue with the play guys.

I apologise for this cynical view on life but there are some days I really feel this way.

In this social web we have created, we are ultimately alone.

I'm having the worst headache in my life. It hurts like crap and I have no idea why I'm having this headache.

It just pisses me off that I went through two days of fever only to get this big throbbing headache.

I am highly tempted to take painkillers right now.

This post is seriously meaningless.

Subemerged underwater, I desperately fail my arms in a futile effort.

Save me. Save me. Save me. Won't somebody save me?

For a moment, I break the surface and scream, only to choke. The water fills my lungs painfully. In a quick flash, I am cruelly engulfed again. Hanging on the instinct to survive, I struggle to reach the light.

It hurts. It hurts so much. So won't somebody tell me if this pain is worth working for?

It was enchanting to know you,
but it's time to break the spell.
For the castle of dreams has already crumbled
despite my denials.

I went to Facebook a moment ago and found the CCA president indirectly bragging about his results.

Someone should give him a tight slap.

Sometimes I think that blood ties are a burden. You probably think that I'm a bastard for having such a thought but I have my reasons.

It's so fustrating to hear you lamenting about how I don't talk as much to you compared to the past. The past is the past and we should live for the future. I just can't be that kid anymore so please stop asking the impossible from me.

Distance is not the problem. In the first place, the problem which you speak of was just fabricated by your own paranoia. It's ridiculous when you say that I forgot that you even exist. Seriously, how can I forget someone who guided me through my growing years? How can I forget someone who put in so much effort to nurture me?

No matter what, I won't go over. I'm just not ready to let go yet. I wish that you would be a little more understanding. At times, your like a bull, rushing headlong at a harmless piece of red cloth.

Anyway, I got back my results today. I asked myself what I have been doing.

So lets break the tension and end this farce.

Sometimes it scares me at how much space you have in my heart.

Today, when others said that I don't match you, my mood immediately plummeted to the pits. I almost felt like crying, but I guess I don't have the right to cry. After all, it was my own fault for thinking that I had a chance. So won't someone slap me and stop me from falling any deeper?

I wonder if I have been cursed. I think it was a mistake that I was born with this gender. Everyday, I live this life of being stuck in between. It's painful when you know your gender but people say otherwise. This confusion causes me to doubt my true identity. Sometimes, I wonder if life wouldn't be so awful if I was the opposite gender. If I was the opposite gender, I could be friends with you at the least.

Despair.