I'm sick of living in fear waiting for the next argument to occur again. If this is marriage then why do we put ourselves through this tiresome battle.

I hate acting as a go between, feeling a sickening feeling in my stomach as even chaos runs amok. Even if I used logic, emotions are not quelled. People believe the truth they have crafted and nothing else. All we see are ourselves as the hurt one.

The fear during the calm before the storm is one I know all too well. I used to prick my ears at the sound of every escalation in volume as a kid. I would then warily peek out from the door and survey the situation. I could only relax when I was sure that it wasn't an argument but merely an exclamation at some tv show.

I can't even type this post properly without my vision getting blurred.

A battle of losers.