I read somewhere that tears are like water that doesn't know the sky.

Raindrops which are lost and ended up on the face.

I wonder if thinking of tears this way will make the pain less apparent. Because I'm not crying. This is just water that has forgotten its origin. So I'm not sad at all. I'm fine.

There are times when the pain gets so bad it feels as if it travels up and crushes my jaw. Even if I wanted to, I can't speak of my pain because every word spoken is punishing. All I can do is silently stare at the drops falling on the ground.

My mind goes blank, unable to process this pain.

"Shush. Don't speak of your pain."
"But it hurts."
"Then seal it in a box and forget about it. If you do so, it's existence ceases."
"What if I find the box?"
"Then you must never open it." 

Saying this will probably get me hated by some females but I've lost too much weight.

I hate being too thin cause I don't want to look like some undeveloped girl. I don't like the fact that my butt is almost non-existent now. It looks so bad when I wear shorts and stuff. Just not womanly at all..

The thing is that every time I feel stressed, I just lose my appetite and when I eat, there's this sickening feeling of emptiness in my stomach. No matter how much I stuff myself, I'm never truly full. This mentally induced emptiness makes me want to puke, though there's nothing to puke out.

My brain is moving like a block right now. I don't know how I sound. My sentence structure is probably degrading. Okay what the heck. I'm just like type type type..

I'm tired, but there's always stuff to do isn't there?