I'm not good enough.

I feel like I've been doing everything wrong up till now. And now, SYF is 1 month away. But all I can feel in my heart is despair. At the rate the band is going now, we can only get a sliver. And I'm not the one who said this. It was the conductor.

SYF is just one month away but we still sound like a total mess. Especially my section. Instead of improving. My section has been becoming worse ever since the seniors stepped down. The unity of the section, the standard of the section and the attitude of the section have all been going downhill since the seniors stepped down.

And I feel like I'm the only one fighting. But it's not enough. One person cannot fight for 5 people. It just won't work. To a certain extent, it is my fault because I'm not strict enough. I don't scold them enough nor do I express myself when I am angry. And look what has happened now? The section sounds like a piece of junk metal.

I feel so sad. I have destroyed the section which my seniors worked so hard for. I have disappointed everyone including myself. And the worst thing is that in the past, the french horn section used to be one of the strongest section but now, it's one of the most problematic section.

This despair, can it turn to hope?

It's time to start.

"It's been a long time coming."

I'm tired. I have a Physics test tomorrow. All the best. Ha.

She gets all the recognition. While I get all the blame.

Stop rubbing in your results in my face you arsehole. If you are so smart, why don't you go to Harvard University now? If you can score without listening to lessons, why don't you just quit school? I'm serious. Isn't it sad that a genius like you has to come to this crappy school? Why don't you just go and find a job in a research laboratory and earn big bucks now? I bet that you will surely win the noble prize man.

F*** you.

Salvation.

Save the souls from words which haunt
Kill the guns which know no Death
See the light which is the dark
Fallen shall we call for "Mercy"

Lost within our vices we cry
"O lord where is humanity?"
Rising from the depths of hell
We are but a slave to sin.

From whence did hope disintegrate?
Only to be filled with hate
Change. It's time for that we know
But fear, it keeps us in a cage

Limitations of the human brain
Why does He give so much pain?
Please we beg you, stop our rain.
All we ask is for some peace.

The final chapter.

Sometimes, I really feel like saying all the things I hurt you. But if I did that, I would be going against my own conscience and belief.

So I won't. And I'll just keep these thoughts inside of me till my sun sets.

Hey, please hear me out. Please stop leaving me behind. I just want a little more time from you and yet the more I want, the further we drift apart. Can you not see it? The seconds are ticking past and soon it will turn into years. By then, where will you be? Where will I be? Will it just end as it is?

I guess you're ok with the way things are. You've always been like this ever since I've known you. Why am I even trying. In the end, it's all a waste. And yet, I can't stop. Will anyone pull me out of this steep decline?

Lost in the world of yours.

(Deleted)

Living upon darkness which feeds on me.

River flows in me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1p_ebSseEq8&feature=related

For all that is worth, I am worth nothing at all.

I'll probably never feel the same way towards you ever again.

I want to watch the Dark Knight and The curious case of Benjamin Button's but I don't really have the time.

I'm in the mood to listen to really sad and depressing songs. Today, my Literature teacher said that it is said that people who are born during winter tend to be very depressed people and they also tend to die earlier than most people because of their character. And I realised that I'm actually born during winter(winter is during November, December, January, February). Wow. Looks like I better say goodbye to the world before it's too late.

I'm being so lame.

People in tropical countries seem to think that winter is fun. Ya right. Why don't you all try living in winter for four freakin months and tell me if you still like living in winter. In winter, it's always cold and wherever you go, the cold is always biting on your face and it is also harder to do vigorous activities during winter. During winter, the skies are overcast most of the time. Tell me, is that fun? And just what is so special about snow? It has taken away so many lives so is it such a wonderful thing? During winter, everything is just lifeless and dead.

Leave it all behind.
These feelings and emotions.

Take it all away.
These memories that haunt.

Push it all away.
These thoughts I have of you.

Keep it all aside.
These fantasies that plauge.

Throw it all away.
These regrets that have no reason to stay.

Let it all subside.
These emotions that are only for you.

Before it's all gone

The true winner of war is Death.

I feel really tired. My tiredness even shows in my speech(or my lack of speech).

(Deleted)

Run.
For your life.
(You coward)