It's time to buck up. I can't go on living like this. It's time to find an aim in life and put in my all. I have to leave it all behind and get on with life.

I need to live.

But I'm dying and slipping out of the rat race. I'm falling and failing. Badly.

I have lost all of the confidence that took so long to accquire. Now it's all gone. Just like that. I don't have the confidence to score well anymore. I'm plagued by my past glories and bleak future.

One day, a friend asked me:

"Do you have depression?"

I wonder. Maybe I should go and take a medical examination.

Requiem for the soul.