I actually wrote this on Friday but I didn't publish it cause the post just felt so ridiculous afterwards. But yea, here it is. I'll probably remove it someother time. Or maybe not. It depends.

I have a whole bunch of tests next week. So what am i still doing here?

I firggin condemn myself.

I know that I'll probably regret saying this but don't give me birthday presents anymore. Unless you truly view me as an important part of your life. Otherwise, don't waste your money. Don't give me gifts just because you think that you are obliged to do so. Don't give me gifts thinking that it's going to warrant my charity for you. Cause it doesn't work that way. Please. I don't want any of you to feel regretful when you buy a present for me.

What is there to celebrate about my birthday? I'm just a nobody who's going to die many years later and leave behind no stain in history. Save your money to buy presents for other people cause their more important. I'm not important. I never was. Not to you. Not to her.

I remember that there was one time I told my section that if I ever found out that I had cancer, I would probably only let my family know. It's not worth it to tell other people cause they're not going to care and they will most likely forget about me once they start families of their own. In the end, I would have to fight it on my own.

Damn it. Why am I even writing this? What shit does it mean to people? Lord save humanity. This race of beings that have no empathy.

Redemption at the cost of loyalty.