I should be doing my very not nice homework.

Anyway, I read spikedog's blog just now. Sad guy. I wish I could do something about it. I don't symphatise with him. I emphatise with him. That's different.

I shall elaborate the next time cause I really need to get back to the pen and paper.

If only

The lie was you.
And yet the truth was your lies.

I have been thinking about something these few days. Should I go or should I stay? What is it that I truly want?

They say that I am a coward and maybe I am? I fear being a failure in the face of change. I fear being unable to adapt and losing everything that I had already acheived but when I look at the relatives that have come here, I wonder to myself, maybe this is where I need to go. Maybe this is where I need to go if I really want to get what I want.

But there are certain things that I can't bear to let go off.

The limitation of fear.

Disappointed.

I shall type 10 random things about myself that people might or might not know:

1) I don't like the smell of food on my hands.
2) I get lonely easily. Don't laugh.
3) I hate to say this but I crave acknowledgement
4) I tend to contradict and change my views and opinions alot and it's due to the fact that I think too much.
5) I have a wide and diverse taste in the type of music that I like.
6) Do you really want to continue reading this?
7) There are many things I notice just that I don't say it.
8) People are usually unable to tell how I am feeling.
9) Typing in this blog makes me kind of pissed sometimes because I feel like people are looking at some free show.
10) I think that I regret saying no at that time.

So how many of the things stated above about me did you know?

P.S: If you think that I'm alright, then you don't know me.

So let the guilt kill me and your hate blind you.

I really need to talk to someone right now or I might just go crazy. But there's no one for me talk to.

Goddamn it.

I'm sorry for how I was today. I think that you probably know that I was kind of down today. And if you want to know the reason, I can say it but you will probably laugh at me or maybe you won't. Who knows. I'm sorry. You came all the way here only to see me in a foul mood. You don't deserve it. I'm sorry.

I will type the rest of my feelings in a private post in my lj. If you want to see it, you can. Depending on who you are.

Emptiness eats away the heart like wildfire.

I'm supposed to be doing my composition but whatever. I can't stand writing it cause the storyline is supremely lame but teachers love lame compositions so I'll freakin give them a composition so lame that they will suffocate because of it's lameness.

Anyway, I am currently reading Tora Dora and it's really quite nice. The drawings are good and the story is touching and funny at the same time so if you have the time, please go and read it.

I might post again later in the day. My mind is currently in a contemplative state.Actually, I'm kind of sad.

To crave for what I cannot have.
Is that a sin?

I'm posting up another link but this time, it's a song. It's called "Unchained Melody" and it's the theme from the movie "Ghost" and no, contrary to its name, ghost is not a horror movie but its the love story between a woman and a ghost. Some of you may have heard this song before.

Unchained melody: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIZnx1vQ9gY&feature=related

Here's another song that you all might want to try listening to. It's called "Moonlight sonata" and its by Beethoven. It talks about the unrequited love that Beethoven had for a woman.

Moonlight sonata: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2cFEHM9yMw&feature=related

Enjoy.