Life has made a mockery out of me.
But I can only blame myself for falling so deep.
As I cry for you, you only think of her, but the one who cares for you is here.
So from now on, please stay away from me. If you care for me as a friend then I beg you to stay away from my heart. Don't talk to me. Don't smile at me. Don't show me your happiness that is for her. Don't come near me because I need to forget you. Otherwise, I won't be able to survive.
I don't want to hear them talking about you and her. I'm not ready for that yet. Soon I will be fine, but not yet. Not yet.
Maybe I'm thinking too much and it's all untrue. I rather give up now though. I'm phobic of hoping for something that is inexsistent.
I'm standing at the edge of a cliff.
Should I?
Friday, September 24, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
I'm smiling though I'm close to tears.
It hurts when people call me a man. What does it take for those bastards to acknowledge me as a girl? It's unfair that I didn't get to choose the gender to be born in. And it's not my fault that I act this way though I'm a girl because this is who I am.
SO STOP HITTING ME AND CALLING ME YOUR BROTHER. I'M A GIRL FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. I STILL SQUEAL AT CUTE THINGS. AND JUST BECAUSE I'M AS TALL AS YOU ALL DOESN'T MAKE ME LESS GIRLY PHYSICALLY. BASTARDS. YOU HORRIBLE JERKS. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACES. YOUR APOLOGIES ARE WORTHLESS BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL PIECES OF CRAP.
There's a certain point when a joke turns into an insult. I might as well start wearing pants. But you know what, I'm going to do something different. I'll act like some disgustingly girly girl instead. Lets see if you sh_theads will call me a man then.
I hope you guys meet an extremely girly girl cause girly girls are hard to handle. Lets see you enjoy yourselves then.
Like a piece of glass
so devastatingly fragile,
you shield her from reality.
Diseased with love, you hold her captive,
Making her feed your glass obsession.
It hurts when people call me a man. What does it take for those bastards to acknowledge me as a girl? It's unfair that I didn't get to choose the gender to be born in. And it's not my fault that I act this way though I'm a girl because this is who I am.
SO STOP HITTING ME AND CALLING ME YOUR BROTHER. I'M A GIRL FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. I STILL SQUEAL AT CUTE THINGS. AND JUST BECAUSE I'M AS TALL AS YOU ALL DOESN'T MAKE ME LESS GIRLY PHYSICALLY. BASTARDS. YOU HORRIBLE JERKS. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACES. YOUR APOLOGIES ARE WORTHLESS BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL PIECES OF CRAP.
There's a certain point when a joke turns into an insult. I might as well start wearing pants. But you know what, I'm going to do something different. I'll act like some disgustingly girly girl instead. Lets see if you sh_theads will call me a man then.
I hope you guys meet an extremely girly girl cause girly girls are hard to handle. Lets see you enjoy yourselves then.
Like a piece of glass
so devastatingly fragile,
you shield her from reality.
Diseased with love, you hold her captive,
Making her feed your glass obsession.
Monday, September 13, 2010
If you wish to experience all of life's emotions through one incident, just fall in love.
The world isn't rose coloured just because you fall in love. Because loving doesn't mean you're loved. Though your mind is filled with thoughts of him, he thinks of someone else. And when you bleed, he can't see it. He can't see the pain nor the longing in your heart.
His smile brings you agony at times cause you know that smile is not yours. Everything about you is his. But nothing of his yours.
So you lie to protect yourself. Lie that your love doesn't exist.
Hush.
The world isn't rose coloured just because you fall in love. Because loving doesn't mean you're loved. Though your mind is filled with thoughts of him, he thinks of someone else. And when you bleed, he can't see it. He can't see the pain nor the longing in your heart.
His smile brings you agony at times cause you know that smile is not yours. Everything about you is his. But nothing of his yours.
So you lie to protect yourself. Lie that your love doesn't exist.
Hush.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
When I was younger, I used to wonder why I was born.
The more I thought about it, the more depressed I felt because I realised that there was really no meaning in being alive. I didn't have the power to fight for what I want. I couldn't protect those I love. I couldn't do anything for the Earth. I felt helpless as I watched humans spiral towards choas.
During that period of time, I lost my will to live, but I didn't tell anyone. There was no point because I knew that no one could answer the question as to why we were born. At times, I even felt that we were puppets in a play. We were puppets made to fight against each other, for the pleasure of some other existence that watched with a smirk.
How hollow I thought. Life is so hollow. Sometimes, I even felt as though this body didn't belong to me. But as I grew older, I finally found an aim in life.
I want to pursue happiness.
It sounds like a very simple aim, but it's harder then it seems.
Fallen angel, won't you cry for me?
The more I thought about it, the more depressed I felt because I realised that there was really no meaning in being alive. I didn't have the power to fight for what I want. I couldn't protect those I love. I couldn't do anything for the Earth. I felt helpless as I watched humans spiral towards choas.
During that period of time, I lost my will to live, but I didn't tell anyone. There was no point because I knew that no one could answer the question as to why we were born. At times, I even felt that we were puppets in a play. We were puppets made to fight against each other, for the pleasure of some other existence that watched with a smirk.
How hollow I thought. Life is so hollow. Sometimes, I even felt as though this body didn't belong to me. But as I grew older, I finally found an aim in life.
I want to pursue happiness.
It sounds like a very simple aim, but it's harder then it seems.
Fallen angel, won't you cry for me?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
AHH! I JUST SAW THE CUTEST THING EVER!
Go to this link! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOV18WKNtgI&feature=player_embedded
Ok, I'm usually not like this, but this is just TOO CUTE!
Go to this link! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOV18WKNtgI&feature=player_embedded
Ok, I'm usually not like this, but this is just TOO CUTE!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
"You're not an adult yet so we can force you to go Australia."
Do you know how I felt when I heard this sentence? I always believed that the both of you respected my freedom but maybe I was being too idealistic. I almost felt like crying when I heard this sentence.
If only I was a working adult, then I would be able to choose where to live at the very least. I wouldn't be at the mercy of those I depend on.
Do you think that I'm a bad kid? Do you think that I'm being ungrateful to them? All I want is just the freedom to choose my path. I'm not trying to be rebellious, it's just that I can never be a obedient kid.
Like paper airplanes, my dreams glided momentarily,
before spiralling towards oblivion.
Do you know how I felt when I heard this sentence? I always believed that the both of you respected my freedom but maybe I was being too idealistic. I almost felt like crying when I heard this sentence.
If only I was a working adult, then I would be able to choose where to live at the very least. I wouldn't be at the mercy of those I depend on.
Do you think that I'm a bad kid? Do you think that I'm being ungrateful to them? All I want is just the freedom to choose my path. I'm not trying to be rebellious, it's just that I can never be a obedient kid.
Like paper airplanes, my dreams glided momentarily,
before spiralling towards oblivion.
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