Looking at those photos of yours makes me wonder if a rift has come between us.

Am I over analysing things again?

It's funny, but I'm insecure. I always perceived our bond to be strong, but even the strongest bonds can whither away. Memories and emotions fade with time.

I've just become a friend you dislike but forgive me will you? I'm human too and there are times when uncertainties in life get to me.

I know of who you were and

not what you are.

Cause nothing's absolute.

It ended on 4th May, yet the feeling of sadness only hits me now.

After looking at other people's successes, I can't help but lament at the result. I was hoping that I could at least end my last SYF with a bang. Somehow, I feel as if I wasted my time practicing five times a week only to get this result.

I'm tired. Tired of music. Tired of this unpredictable snare. Time and time again, music betrays me but I always come to love it again.

This time though, I'm utterly shattered. It hurts to know that this piece of music which we crafted wasn't good enough. And though the composer liked the way we played his piece, it seems as though the other judges didn't enjoy it as much.

Nowadays, when I play music, I don't feel anything. I'm disconnected and I don't think I'll ever be one with music again. At least not for now.

Spent ashes.

If I had a choice, I would choose to be devoid of all emotions. I wouldn't mind sacrificing happiness in order for sadness to be removed from my heart.

All these emotions running through me are like a savage beast tearing me to shreds.

No more please. I'm tired. Just leave me alone.

Go away and let me bask in solitude.

I would like to reiterate that education is a good thing but it is the teaching methods which go bad sometimes.

Another year will soon be added to me life. With each second I inch closer to adulthood. Soon I will have to leave this carefully crafted nest that my parent's created for me. Will I be able to survive in this society? Survive in this place that has no compassion and only twisted morals? I'm sorry, but after living in this world for so long I have lost trust in the system. This system that claims to turn us into knowledgable individuals with a morality through effective education.

Yes, education is essential, but through the process, we have only become more cold and cruel. We learn to be slefish and fight for our own gains because that's the only way to survive. There's no choice about it. As elitism grows in these parts, the discriminatory thoughts will one day translate into actions. What is morality? Do we even need it anymore? After all, we just need a mask to cover our ugly hearts. We just need to charm and manipulate those around us to perceive a cherry image. Of course, you might say that it's tiring to wear a mask, but aren't you wearing one yourself? No matter what, we must conform. We have been taught to conform for the greater good of society.

Though I agree that a certain degree of hypocriscy must exist for society to smoothly operate, I feel that society has taken it to another degree. We have learnt to fabricate morality, sympathy and empathy. The right answers are stored in our brains like those codes in a computer.

But I guess it's all necessary?

Lets continue with the play guys.

I apologise for this cynical view on life but there are some days I really feel this way.

In this social web we have created, we are ultimately alone.

I'm having the worst headache in my life. It hurts like crap and I have no idea why I'm having this headache.

It just pisses me off that I went through two days of fever only to get this big throbbing headache.

I am highly tempted to take painkillers right now.

This post is seriously meaningless.

Subemerged underwater, I desperately fail my arms in a futile effort.

Save me. Save me. Save me. Won't somebody save me?

For a moment, I break the surface and scream, only to choke. The water fills my lungs painfully. In a quick flash, I am cruelly engulfed again. Hanging on the instinct to survive, I struggle to reach the light.

It hurts. It hurts so much. So won't somebody tell me if this pain is worth working for?

It was enchanting to know you,
but it's time to break the spell.
For the castle of dreams has already crumbled
despite my denials.